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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097447">Ich treffe dich zum zweiten Mal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knightowl019/pseuds/Knightowl019'>Knightowl019</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>AnemoiaVerse [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia: Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:22:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097447</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knightowl019/pseuds/Knightowl019</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(I'm meeting you again for the second time) </p><p>Ludwig has been having weird dreams lately. He constantly meets a young girl, who says that she knows him.  This left him wondering. He is certain that he has never seen that girl in his life before. But why does he sense a feeling of familiarity around her?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Germany/North Italy (Hetalia)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>AnemoiaVerse [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789918</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Remembrance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It's official. Hetalia has taken over my life. Again. But hey, at least I got so much inspiration to write for Hetalia. So horay?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ludwig saw her again. This time she was holding a basket while picking flowers. He noticed that they were in a meadow full of wild flowers. The girl hummed as she picked flowers. She wore a green dress with a white apron wrapped around her waist and a white cloth that covered her hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig walked over to her and greeted her. “Guten Tag, kleines. I see you’re picking flowers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned around and saw Ludwig, she smiled and waved him over. “Ciao, ciao! It's good to see you again~"</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Ludwig nodded. “It's good to see you too. ”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you help me pick some flowers?” the girl asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig blinked a few times before he could answer. It was weird, why was this girl oddly familiar? Every time he met her in his dreams, there was always this… sense of familiarity. Why was that? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He immediately shook the thought away and answered “Of course. Do you want me to carry that basket?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl nodded. “Grazie, Lulu!” She handed him the basket over, before running off to pluck more flowers….. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig woke up by the sound of his alarm clock. It was time for him to move. He had a schedule for today, even if it was a Saturday. He just didn’t want to be lazy during weekends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat up and turned off his alarm clock. He yawned greatly and stretched his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed like he slept well. But Ludwig remembered that dream. That girl! She had been visiting him in his dreams for five nights already. Who was she? Ludwig barely remembered what he dreamt and could only remember some fragments of his dreams. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ludwig was curious who that girl was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got ready and went downstairs to find his brother in the kitchen, whistling while making breakfast. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah. Guten Morgen, Bruderherz.” Gilbert greeted. He was placing food on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morgen Gilbert.” Ludwig gave a slight nod, before making coffee for the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as everything was set on the table, Gilbert sat on the dining chair and looked at Ludwig. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, Lutz. I think it’s one of those days where I’m the one who woke up first. Isn’t that awesome?” Gilbert said enthusiastically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ja, ja.” Ludwig didn’t really pay much attention to his brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> He tried to recall where he knew that girl. But it never worked, it just caused him pain. It happened every time when he tried to remember something before the car accident that happened years ago. He was twelve at that time, when his and Gilbert’s parents died in the wreckage. Ludwig was the only one who miraculously survived the accident. But at a cost, he had severe injuries and head trauma that caused amnesia. Ludwig hardly remembered anything before the accident, even his own parents, anyone as of matter of fact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Luckily, Gilbert was hanging out with his friends when the accident happened. It took a lot of convincing until Ludwig knew who he was. Gilbert tried to help him during his recovery. He even tried to help him regain his memories but the doctors said that the damage to his brain was irreversible. Ludwig would never get those memories back. Gilbert devoted himself to be the awesome guardian for his little brother. Even though he was barely an adult at that time, who just turned eighteen. But Gilbert was by his side and supported him every step of the way. And for that Ludwig was grateful for his brother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gilbert noticed that something was off with his brother, for one thing Ludwig didn’t ask why he was up early, he usually would. And second the coffee began to overflow from Luwig’s mug. “Uh. Lutz. You okay, bro?” Gilbert asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got not no reaction whatsoever from Ludwig. It was just one of those days again. Where Ludwig would have this distant look in his eyes, as if he was grasping for something that was within his reach. And Gilbert knew what it meant. It took him such great lengths for his brother’s health and safety. When Ludwig just got out of the hospital, after a few months after the accident, Gilbert told everyone who knew Ludwig that they shouldn’t try to remind him of his lost memories. It caused Ludwig so much pain one time when Gilbert tried to help him recall his memories. It just wasn’t worth the risk to do it again. Who knows what would happen next time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gilbert sighed and stood up. He walked over to Ludwig and took the mug from his hand. “Yo, Lutz.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig blinked. Did he just space out? “Tut mir leid, Bruder.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gibert chuckled. “It’s ok. It happens to everyone.” He said and sipped coffee. “Ist alles in Ordnung mit dir?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Na ja….” Ludwig sighed. “I keep having this dream.” He confessed. Ludwig and his brother told each other everything, there were no secrets between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Bruder. Everyone has that kind of dream.” Gilbert nudged his elbow to his brother and wiggled his eyebrows. He tried to act idiotic as possible so Ludwig could focus on something else. Even if it's a topic Ludwig did not look forward to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig blushed. He felt embarrassed when they discussed anything related to sex. Or romance. “Nein! I wasn’t talking about that! That’s not what I meant!” He said frantically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Gilbert blinked and laughed at his "failed" guess. “Is that so? What was the dream then, kleiner Bruder?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, well. There was this girl-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gilbert immediately cut off his brother with a snort. “And you’re saying it’s not a sex dream? That’s how they start! Ach kleiner Bruder.” He shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig could feel his blood starting boil. His left eye twitched and he gritted his teeth. He was beginning to lose his patience with his brother. Ludwig was known for his bad temper after all.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I said,” Ludwig began, “it’s not like that.” He sighed before continuing, “First of all, that girl was around eight years old, I think. And I’ve been seeing her in my dreams constantly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gilbert grimaced. “Lutz. You know that’s pe-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what happened! Du Vollidiot!” Ludwig snapped, as his face turned red. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Calm down. Yeesh. I was just teasing. Weißt du.” Gilbert said with a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig sighed. “Forget it. It’s not that important.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig just wanted to drop the subject. It was rather annoying how his brother was reacting so childishly. He’d never admitted to Gilbert but he really can be a cause of an overwhelming headache. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Komm schon. Tell me. I’m not going to make fun of you….” Gilbert paused and muttered under his breath, “Probably.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig wasn’t in the mood to lose his patience today. He was debating if he should just tell him or not. He decided it was for the best that Gilbert was not the best listener for this conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bruder, bitte.” Ludwig pleaded. He glanced at the clock that was hanging on the wall. “It’s time for me to go anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?! Where are you going? You didn’t even have breakfast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Saturday, remember?” Ludwig slightly tilted his head when he spoke. “I’ll eat at Feli’s, pretty sure he’s making pasta right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gilbert grinned. “Alright. Say hi to Feli for me~” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ja, ja.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Ludwig left, Gilbert could not help but feel hope. The girl that Ludwig talked about… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gilbert laughed at the thought. Maybe, just maybe, Ludwig was finally remembering. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doctors did mention before they left that there was a slight chance that Ludwig would get his memories back but it was up to Ludwig, and Ludwig alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I'll be damned.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I actually had this lying around for a while now and thought: why not just post it.<br/>And here we are! </p><p> </p><p>By the way, for my other works, I'll be continuing as soon as I can. </p><p> </p><p>And one more thing, has anyone read, "Auf Wiedersehen Sweetheart" by George Devalier? If not, then give it a read! It's one of the best GerIta fanfic, I've read. I have zero regrets reading it. I highly recommend it.</p><p> </p><p>If you're wondering what they're saying...<br/>Here's the translation:</p><p>Guten Tag, kleines - Good day, little one.<br/>Ciao - Hello/goodbye<br/>Grazie - Thank you<br/>Guten Morgen - Good morning<br/>Bruderherz - dear brother<br/>Ja - yes<br/>Ja, ja - Whatever/sure (more like sarcasm)<br/>Tut mir leid - I'm sorry<br/>Ist alles in Ordnung mit dir? - Are you alright?<br/>Na ja - Well...<br/>Kleiner Bruder - little brother<br/>Du Vollidiot - you Idiot<br/>Weißt/weisst du - you know<br/>Komm schon - Come on<br/>Bitte - please</p><p>Well that's a few Italian and German words for ya!</p><p>Til next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Reminiscences</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>That went well</em>, Ludwig brooded silently. </p><p> </p><p> He couldn’t believe his brother. No wait, he could. It was Gilbert, after all. His brother was acting different lately, now that Ludwig really looked into it. No wonder that he kept making those jokes. Gilbert seemed more cheerful. He had been going out more recently. Something must have happened over the last few weeks… </p><p> </p><p><em>Good for him, </em>Ludwig thought. </p><p> </p><p>He was on his way to Feliciano’s place. On Saturdays he’d walk through the central market, since it was a shortcut to Feliciano’s home. It was usually quiet during this time at the market but it would be crowded and full of life in a few hours, once all the stores have opened. From the corner of his eye Ludwig could see Roderich, handling the preparations for the grand-opening of his music shop. </p><p> </p><p>Roderich seemed to notice Ludwig and waved him over. “Ludwig can you come here for a second please?” Roderich said. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig nodded and went to the shop’s direction. “What is it, Roderich?” he asked the brunette.</p><p> </p><p>Roderich was an old friend of theirs. Or mostly Gilbert’s. He and Gilbert had a lot of history together, they’ve known each other since high school. They sort of had a love-hate relationship. They were like water and oil, total opposites of each other. It confused Ludwig sometimes. He wasn’t sure if Roderich hated his brother or not. He didn’t want to delve into it. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re heading to Feliciano’s place, richtig?” </p><p> </p><p>How did he know..? Of course. His brother probably told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Ja. It’s Saturday. It’s usually the only day we get to see each other outside work.” Ludwig explained. </p><p> </p><p>He and Feliciano made a promise that they’d meet once every week. Due to their professions it was difficult during the week to meet. </p><p>Ludwig missed the days where he and Feliciano were always at each other’s side. Always together… Feliciano was the one who came up with the idea that they could meet on Saturdays instead. </p><p> </p><p>“I see.” Roderich nodded. “In that case, wait here for a second, will you.” Roderich said, he immediately went back into his shop, before Ludwig could say something. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig rolled his eyes. He tapped his foot in impatience. He didn’t want to be late. He hated being late. Ludwig was always on time when he was out. Except when there had been a few occasions where he was late. But never on purpose. Why should he be late on purpose? That wouldn't make sense to him. </p><p> </p><p>Roderich came back, carrying a huge box in his hands. “Could you please give this to Feliciano? That would be a big help, you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Roderich, what’s in the box?” Ludwig asked, eyeing at the box suspiciously. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Did Feli buy something online again and gave someone else's address instead? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Eliza and I cleaned the attic the other day and found a few things that belonged to Feliciano. So we thought it’s best to place all Feliciano’s things in there.” Roderich explained. </p><p> </p><p>Right. Ludwig remembered what Feli told him. Roderich and Elizaveta used to babysit Feli when he was younger. Feliciano stayed in touch with both of his sitters and had always considered them as his friends. Ludwig wondered what Feliciano was like as a child. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately before he could imagine what little Feliciano was like, Roderich interrupted his train of thoughts by whining. “Ludwig, this box is getting heavy.” </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig huffed and took the box from Roderich. “There.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you. Now if you must excuse me. I have a shop to tend to. See you around, Ludwig.” Roderich retreated back inside his shop. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig just didn’t get that guy. </p><p> </p><p>“Tschüss.” Ludwig muttered under his breath and began to walk away but then heard Roderich shout behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Before I forget, tell your brother that I can’t come over later!” </p><p> </p><p>“Tell him that yourself!” Ludwig shouted back. </p><p> </p><p>“Then what’s the point?” Roderich shouted again. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig didn’t have time to argue. Judging by his watch, he was late already. So he decided to ignore Roderich and kept on walking. </p><p> </p><p>. </p><p>. </p><p>. </p><p> </p><p>Ten minutes later, he finally arrived at Feliciano’s house. He rang the doorbell and waited. But no one answered, so he rang again. Still no answer. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig sighed and looked for the spare key that Feliciano hid, just in case. It was, of course, under the doormat. Ludwig shook his head. Feliciano had to take better care of himself. </p><p> </p><p>He went inside and heard Feliciano’s voice around the back of the house. He placed down the box onto the ground before going through the hall and out the back. He found Feliciano sitting against a tree while playing with a hazelnut furred cat. It must be another stray that Feliciano took with him. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig felt a tug of smile on his lips. He smiled at the sight in front of him. Feliciano looked adorable. </p><p> </p><p>“Ciao, Feli.” Ludwig greeted. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano looked at Ludwig and smiled widely. “Ciao, Lu!” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano stood up and held the cat in his arms. He stretched his arms forward to Ludwig, showing him the furry little animal. “Look, Ludwig! This is Bella! I found her near the park yesterday!” he paused and frowned slightly. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig felt a tug on his heart whenever Feliciano was upset. It was rare to see him sad. </p><p> </p><p>“She was chased by some mean dog while I was passing by.” Feliciano explained, then his smile slipped back onto his lips as he continued, “Good thing, I was there and I decided to take her home with me. Isn’t she adorable?” </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig didn’t know what to answer. How many strays did Feliciano bring into his own house? Twenty? Thirty? Ludwig lost count. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig chuckled at his soft hearted friend. “Ja. She is.” But as he said that, he wasn’t even looking at the cat. His gaze was fixated on Feliciano. He stared deeply into those caramel colored eyes. But there was something else… What if-</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano giggle caught Ludwig’s attention. Feliciano placed Bella on the ground and ran toward Ludwig for their greeting: a hug.</p><p>Ludwig slowly returned the hug. He was thinking something. No more like remembering but… what was it? </p><p> </p><p>“Um. Lu? As much as I like this hug to go on forever, I also need to breathe.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Ja. Sorry.” Ludwig murmured quietly as he let go of Feliciano. </p><p> </p><p>He looked at Feliciano and noticed that something was on Feliciano’s mind. He had a sad look in his eyes. Why did he just notice it now? </p><p> </p><p>“Feliciano? Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano immediately returned to his usual smiling self and giggled. “Don’t be silly, Lu. You could never hurt me.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig felt something… weird. It was a strange but a familiar feeling. </p><p> </p><p>“Is… there something on your mind?” </p><p> </p><p>“Haha. I guess you saw right through me.” Feliciano said, rubbing the back of his head. “I'm just glad you're here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Feliciano? What's wrong?” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano explained the dream he had, that he, Kiku and Ludwig, were all back in high school. It was more like a memory at first, the three of them at the AVR but then it slowly shifted into a nightmare. He further explained how everyone slowly disappeared into dust, right in front of his eyes. How he desperately screamed for their names, begging them to come back. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig comforted the weeping Italian but he knew something was wrong. There was more to the story than Feliciano was telling. He had nightmares once in a while, like anyone else, but they never really affected him. This was something deeper, something personal. It was as if Feliciano had dealt with such pain like that before. </p><p> </p><p>“It was so scary, Lu. I couldn't find neither you nor Kiku.” Feliciano said, wiping the tears from his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“It was just a dream, Feli. I'm here. And we can call Kiku later, if you want.” Ludwig frowned at the sight in front of him. </p><p> </p><p>Without thinking Ludwig brushed Feliciano’s tears away with his thumb. </p><p>Feliciano gasped at Ludwig’s gesture. When Ludwig realized what he was doing, he immediately took his hand away from Feliciano. </p><p>He felt his face getting warm. He was getting embarrassed. Why was he embarrassed? It was just Feliciano, his friend. Friends do that, so why was he embarrassed? Ludwig’s heart was pounding ferociously. Oh god, why was he acting like an idiot? </p><p> </p><p>“Mi dispiace. I didn't want to worry you…. Come on, Lu! I’ve made pasta!” He sneaked his arm around Ludwig’s and guided him back into the house. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig blinked and looked away from Feliciano’s gaze, hoping he wouldn’t notice Ludwig’s flustered appearance. </p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t eaten yet?” Ludwig asked. </p><p> </p><p>“No. I was waiting for you.” Feliciano admitted, holding Ludwig's arm tighter. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> This dummy…  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig sighed. “Feli. You could’ve eaten while I was running late. I don’t want you to starve.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mi dispiace.” </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig turned his head to look at Feliciano. “I’m the one who should apologize. I visited later than usual.”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano tilted his head slightly. “There’s no need to be sorry about, Ludwig. Time is something you can’t get a control of.” </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig was taken aback. Feliciano had always found a way to surprise Ludwig time and time again. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig smiled. His heart fluttered. “Is that so?” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano nodded. “Si…. And also I actually didn’t notice that you’re late.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Typical Feliciano… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Ah Feliciano, what am I going to do with you?” Ludwig sighed. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're wondering what they're saying...<br/>Here's the translation:</p><p>Richtig - right<br/>Tschüss/tchuess - bye<br/>Mi dispiace - I'm sorry<br/>Si - yes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Recollection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wasn't actually planning on updating this soon but here ya go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So Ludwig. How was your week?” Feliciano asked with a mouthful of pasta. </p><p> </p><p> Ludwig wanted to scold him on how he should behave during meals but Feliciano wouldn’t listen anyways. His face was covered in sauce. He wanted to wipe it off of Feliciano's cute face. What? </p><p> </p><p>“Same as always, Feliciano.” Ludwig answered coolly. His thoughts went back to the dreams he’d been having and wondered if he should tell Feliciano. But after what happened in the garden, it was probably best if he didn’t tell Feliciano. Maybe he’d get all worried. But then again it wasn’t scary or dramatic. “Well. There’s something that has been recurring lately.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really? What is it, Lu?” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Here goes nothing. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been seeing this girl in my dreams and –” </p><p> </p><p>He noticed how Feliciano demeanor changed, he seemed upset. Feliciano's shoulders slumped as he frowned. “Oh. A girl, huh?” </p><p> </p><p>Wait. Was he- No. Was Feliciano jealous? </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig just thought of what he just said and realized his mistake. “Wait! No Feli, it isn’t like that!” </p><p> </p><p>Feli smiled at Ludwig, trying to mask his pain. It didn’t convince Ludwig for he knew how Feliciano was. He was his best friend after all. “I wouldn’t mind if you had a girlfriend, Lu. I’m actually happy for you.” Feli said, he looked as if he was on the verge of crying. </p><p> </p><p>“Feli. Mein Gott! Just here me out!” Ludwig shouted slightly hoping that Feliciano would listen to him. He didn't want any misunderstanding with Feliciano, after all. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano blinked and looked at his plate. “Okay.” </p><p> </p><p>That wouldn’t do. Ludwig grabbed Feliciano’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Maybe he'd listen to him now. </p><p> </p><p>Feli squeezed back and held his hand. “What was the dream about, Ludwig?” he asked quietly, still looking down on his plate. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig explained about the little girl. The little girl in a green dress, who was appearing constantly in his dreams. Constantly smiling, laughing and talking to him as if they were friends. He told Feliciano the dream he had last night, since that was the only dream he could remember more than the others. How he helped her pick flowers in a field. How the warmth of the sun felt on his skin. How the girl showed and explained him the flowers she had picked. </p><p> </p><p>“She said it was a surprise for someone very dear to her.” Ludwig said. </p><p> </p><p>As he faced Feli, he saw tears streaming down his face. </p><p> </p><p>What did he do? Did he say something wrong? Why was Feliciano crying? </p><p> </p><p>“Feli?” Ludwig asked as he squeezed Feliciano’s hand tighter. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano shook his head and gave out a breathless laugh. “I’m fine. It’s that…” Feliciano flickered his gaze away from Ludwig. “That person is very familiar.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig’s eyes widened. His heart was pounding in excitement. He was thrilled to hear that Feliciano knew who it was. But why did it also seem to hurt? </p><p> </p><p>“You know who this person is?” Ludwig asked. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano looked back at him and let go of Ludwig’s hand away from him. His eyes gave a sad look while his smile showed otherwise. “I was hoping you would find out.”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano gave a relieving chuckle as he wiped away the tears in his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Feli. I have no idea who she is. Please. You have to tell me.” Ludwig pleaded. </p><p> </p><p>He was wondering what was going on inside Feliciano’s head. He seemed estranged. And that look on his face a while ago… it was as if he was somewhere far away. Far away from this place. Far away from him. </p><p> </p><p>“Va bene.” Feliciano shook his head. He stood up from his seat, “Wait a second. I have to show you something before I do tell you.”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano seemed so serious. Ludwig wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p><strong>.</strong> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano walked to the hall to where the box was. Roderich picked a good time to send him the box.</p><p> </p><p>He hoped it was still there. It had to be. </p><p> </p><p>He chuckled to himself. He knelt down in front of the box. </p><p> </p><p>Finally after years, Ludwig was starting to remember him. Not as quite as he hoped but it was enough. </p><p>Feliciano never gave up on Ludwig. He knew that one day. One day he’d get some of his memories back. He just couldn’t think it’d happened soon. And to think he remembered that memory out of all things! </p><p> </p><p>A tear rolled down Feliciano’s cheek. He quickly wiped his tears away before more could fall. He didn’t want to cry now. Even if they were tears of joy. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano opened the box and found it instantly with all the other things. He thought he lost them. He had to remind himself to thank Roderich and Elizaveta later. </p><p> </p><p>He carried the box and went back to the kitchen, where Ludwig was sitting. It seemed Ludwig was deep in his thoughts. Probably wondering.</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig looked handsome, Feliciano admired silently. His heart fluttered at the sight of Ludwig. </p><p> </p><p>He had loved Ludwig since they were kids. He was his first love after all. And no one could ever take his place. </p><p> </p><p>“Ludwig?” Feliciano spoke up. </p><p> </p><p>He could see how Ludwig's shoulders tensed up. Feliciano giggled as he placed the box on the table. </p><p> </p><p>“Why is that box here, Feli?” Ludwig asked, raising an eyebrow. </p><p> </p><p>“Silly, Ludwig. There’s something I wanted to show you and it's in the box.” Feli said as he opened the box. He could feel his heart racing rapidly, almost bursting out his chest. He still couldn’t believe it. Ludwig remembered. </p><p> </p><p>“Shouldn’t I put the plates away first?” Ludwig suggested. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Grazie Lu!” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano waited a bit for Ludwig, who placed both their meals in the refrigerator. He then stood beside Feli, looking inside of the box. </p><p> </p><p>Feli grabbed onto a green cloth and pulled it out of the box. He showed it to Ludwig, who seemed surprised. </p><p> </p><p>“Das Kleid. Dieses grünes Kleid.” Ludwig whispered to himself. He looked at Feli wide-eyed. “That's the exact dress! Feli! Where did you get this?” He asked loudly. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano smiled shyly. “It belonged to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? You wore that dress?! But you’re-” Ludwig shook his head, “How?!” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano looked at the dress and traced his fingertips onto the cloth. “It actually belonged to big sis Eliza. She gave this to me because she thought I looked cute in it.” He sighed before continuing, “You even said I looked beautiful.” Feliciano smiled brightly at Ludwig. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're wondering what they're saying...<br/>Here's the translation:</p><p>Va bene - Alright.<br/>Dieses grünes Kleid - That Green dress</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Relive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright. Another chapter. A few more to go and then finito!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“What? I- I-” Ludwig stuttered, shaking his head. His face felt warm. </p><p> </p><p>Did he really say that? Was that girl actually Feliciano?! This was absurd but it somehow ridiculously connected the dots. But even then… </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig wanted to smash his head onto a wall. This was embarrassing. His heart was racing again. He was slowly suffocating. Why?! He had to get out. He needed to breathe. He needed to calm down. </p><p> </p><p>“Ludwig?” Feliciano whispered his name, frowning. His hands gripped onto the green dress. “Are you okay?” </p><p> </p><p>Was he? Feliciano just told him little information about their shared past, but it was somehow too much for Ludwig to bear. What was wrong with him?! </p><p> </p><p>“Ludwig?” Feli spoke up again with a subtle hint of uncertainty in his voice. “Did I freak you out? I’m weird aren’t I?” Feliciano lowered his head, hugging the dress tightly. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig wanted to say that it wasn’t Feliciano. That he was the one being weird, but before he could say a word, he ran outside instead. He needed some air. He needed to think. </p><p> </p><p>He heard Feliciano shouting behind him but he didn’t turn around. He just couldn’t. He had to run. </p><p> </p><p>Before he knew it, he ran all the way back home, standing at the front of his doorstep. He was almost out of breath from running. He blinked a couple of times and realized what he had just done. </p><p> </p><p>He sunk down on his knees, his vision went hazy. He couldn’t break down right now. Not when… not when he…. </p><p> </p><p>Why was this happening? Why did he run from his best friend? Why did he make such a fuss out of nowhere? </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig was panting heavily. He then felt a hand on his shoulder. He slightly turned his head around to see his brother, looking confusingly at him. </p><p> </p><p>He felt everything spinning. Why couldn't it stop? He began to lose his balance and collapsed on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>All he heard before losing consciousness were deafening sounds around him. Probably his brother shouting. So noisy… </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Ludwig came to his senses, he noticed that he was in his room, lying down on his bed. He felt a throbbing pain in his head. </p><p>Ludwig tried to recall how he got back.</p><p>All he remembered was that he felt ashamed of what he did to Feli. He basically ran away from him. He had to go back and apologize to Feliciano. </p><p> </p><p>But as soon as Ludwig tried to stand up, his legs shook wantonly. He took a step forward, causing him to fall down immediately. But before he hit the ground, he felt a strong grip holding his arm. </p><p> </p><p>“Vorsicht, Bruder. You had enough trouble for today.” Gilbert said, dragging him back to the bed. </p><p> </p><p>“Danke.” Ludwig sat down. He tried to recall how he got back. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“When I walked back home from grocery shopping, I found you on the doorstep. It was good timing soo… not exactly good timing but the point is that you had a breakdown and collapsed. So as your awesome Bruder, I carried you to your room and nursed you back to health.” Gilbert explained with a proud smile on his face. He grabbed a chair and sat face to face with Ludwig. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig covered his face in his hands. He groaned. “Ich bin ein Idiot. I’m sorry for making you worry.”</p><p> </p><p>Gilbert patted his back and chuckled. “Just buy me some beer then we’re even.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig looked at his brother. He noticed that Gilbert seemed distraught. Whenever Gilbert was worried for him, he'd tried to cover it up with awful jokes and laughter. But Ludwig could still see past that and realized Gilbert's façade.</p><p> Right now, Gilbert looked as if he hadn't been sleeping for a while. He had dark circles under his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Did something happen at Feli’s?” Gilbert asked in a serious tone. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig looked down on his lap. He felt a stab in his heart for leaving Feliciano without any explanation. How could he just run off like that? Feli was probably devastated. </p><p> </p><p>Thoughts ran through his head. Did Gilbert know? Of course he did. </p><p> </p><p>When Ludwig didn't answer, Gilbert started talking again. “Feliciano called and told me what happened.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig took a deep breath, closed his eyes and sighed heavily. “I'm so stupid.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ich auch. This could have been avoided if I was a better brother.” Gilbert said, with pain reflecting in his voice. </p><p> </p><p>Hearing those words, Ludwig felt as if a knife dove deeper into his chest. Because of him people he cared about got hurt. He should've just told his brother the truth in the first place. But instead, he had to make a mess out of everything. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig looked at Gilbert, noticing tears in the corners of Gilbert's eyes. “Nein. I should've been honest with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Gilbert held his brother for a hug and sobbed. “Wie kannst du etwas sowas sagen? I'm your older brother, your guardian and I couldn't even tell that you wanted to talk about something important. I failed you. I failed to protect you.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig patted his brother's back. No matter how old they get. Gilbert was still looking out for him. Ludwig choked back his tears, trying to find the words to say to Gilbert. </p><p> </p><p>“No you didn't. You didn't fail me. You have done your best to take care of me. You had to drop out of your studies just to take care of me. You have sacrificed a lot for me, Gil. And I'm lucky to have you as my big brother.” Ludwig stated, he barely kept it together from crying. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig heard Gilbert laugh, “I didn't deserve a good little brother like you, Lutz.”</p><p> </p><p>“You're the one who raised me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am awesome, aren't I?”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig chuckled.“ Ja, das bist du.”</p><p> </p><p>Gilbert sniffed and slowly pulled away from Ludwig. “Man. How did this get so fucking emotional?” </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig smiled and shook his head. “So sind wir halt.”</p><p> </p><p>They looked at each other and laughed for a while. </p><p> </p><p>It almost made Ludwig forget about-</p><p> </p><p>“I have to call Feli. No, I have to see him” Ludwig said. </p><p> </p><p>When he was about to stand up, Gilbert stopped him and shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert clicked his tongue. “Man, bist du dämlich. There's no need” He stated. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig furrowed his brows together in confusion. “Wovon redest du?” </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert chuckled. “Think about it. Feli’s been looking out for you while you passed out, Lutz.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig's eyes widened. What? </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Phew. Okay. To be honest. I wasn't sure about this chapter. I have no idea what came over me. But I kinda wanted to add a heart to heart convo with the Beilschmidt brothers.</p><p> </p><p>If you're wondering what they're saying...<br/>Here's the translation:</p><p>Vorsicht - careful<br/>Danke - thank you<br/>Ich bin ein Idiot - I'm an idiot<br/>Ich auch - me too<br/>Nein - no<br/>Wie kannst du etwas sowas sagen? - How can you even say that?<br/>Ja, das bist du - yes you are<br/>So sind wir halt - That's just how we are<br/>Man, bist du dämlich - man you're dumb</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Reflect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aaand here ya go!<br/>And again thank you for the lovely comments! &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3<br/>It really gave me the motivation I needed to write immediately. So thanks! </p><p>So here you are! Chapter 5!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What?! And you're just telling me that now?” Ludwig asked.</p><p> </p><p>Gilbert shook his head disapprovingly. “We had an emotional moment and I was fucking worried about you. It slipped my mind.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig ignored his brother's yammering and sighed. “So he's still here?” </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert scratched the back of his head and gave a nervous chuckle. “He's probably waiting outside for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?! Bruder! What kind of host are you?” </p><p> </p><p>“Ludwig, don't be mad at Gilbert. We were both worried about you.” a small voice spoke, coming from the door. </p><p> </p><p>The door had opened with Feliciano's face peeking out, smiling awkwardly. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig's heart stopped beating for a second. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano. </p><p>He was smiling? How could he be smiling at him? He should hate him. Scream at him for… for leaving him. </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert coughed. “While you kids catch up, I'll be in the living room. Uh bye.” He ushered away and closed the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig felt a lump in his throat. It was just him and Feliciano now. </p><p> </p><p>He was about to speak when… </p><p> </p><p>“I'm sorry, Lu.” Feliciano said quietly across the room. </p><p> </p><p>What? Why was he… He should be the one apologizing, not Feliciano.</p><p> </p><p>“Feli? I- I- don't-” Ludwig stammered. Why did he suddenly feel so conscious?</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano continued, ignoring Ludwig completely as Feliciano stared at the window. There it was, that look he had again, like the one he had at the garden. The far-off look. “I understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore. I only cause you harm. It was my fault that you collapsed. Gilbert did warn me about what might happen if I tried to remind you about the past. But I thought…” Feliciano shook his head. “I'm a bad friend, Ludwig.”</p><p> </p><p>What? How did he…? How could he…? </p><p> </p><p>“Feliciano.” Ludwig said his name a bit harshly, though that wasn't what he expected. But he had to get Feliciano's attention. He wanted to clear up this misunderstanding. He wanted Feliciano to laugh and smile and tell him about his dreams. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano snapped his head to faced him. </p><p> </p><p>He saw how tense Feliciano was. He only acted that way when he felt uncomfortable. Is that how he was with him right now? Uncomfortable? </p><p> </p><p>“Please sit down.” Ludwig motioned him to the chair in front of him. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano shook his head. “It's alright. I won't stay much longer. Now that I know you're alright.” He said. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig's heart sank. He didn't want that. </p><p> </p><p>“Feliciano. Please listen.”</p><p> </p><p>But Feliciano ignored him once again and averted his eyes away from Ludwig. “Ludwig. We…” Feliciano took a deep breath and sighed before continuing to speak, “I think we shouldn't see each other for a while.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig could see how Feliciano's eyes were glistening. He was certain that Feliciano didn't want this. But then why…?</p><p> </p><p>“Feliciano? What are you talking about?” </p><p> </p><p>But Feliciano didn't answer him. He blinked a couple of times before he headed back to the door. </p><p> </p><p>Before Feliciano went out, he took one last look at Ludwig and smiled sadly. “You should get some rest, Ludwig.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig could see how Feliciano was struggling with his words, but in the end all he said was. “Ciao, Ludwig.”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano left without another word and closed the door behind him. </p><p> </p><p>He wanted to say something. But he didn’t know what. Why didn't he just say anything? </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig tried to stand up, he wanted to run up to Feliciano and tell him that he didn't want any of that. He wanted to tell him that he meant everything to Ludwig. How life was much better when Feliciano was there with him. </p><p> </p><p>As he finally felt that he had the strength to stand up, a sharp pain increased in his head. Ludwig grunted as he stumbled back on the bed. It was tolerable before but now the pain was unbearable. He tried to rub his head, thinking it might soothe the pain. But it backfired, the pain was getting worse by the second. It felt like his head might explode any time soon. </p><p> </p><p>He sighed as he shut his eyes. He gave up. Maybe he should listen to Feliciano's advice and get some rest. Then maybe after this, he could visit him soon… </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p><strong>.</strong> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano went through the kitchen. As he was about to use the back door, he saw Gilbert opening a bottle of beer. </p><p> </p><p>“So you're not going to stay? You're not going to do anything about it?” Gilbert asked, leaning on the kitchen counter with a beer in his hand. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano hung his head low, “No. It's for the best that I don't.”</p><p> </p><p>He heard Gilbert shuffling his feet and walking towards him. Gilbert chuckled as he ruffled Feliciano's hair. “I don't get it. But if you think you know what's best for him.” Gilbert leaned closer to his ear. “Then you're wrong, Feli.” He whispered. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano was bewildered with Gilbert's statement. Couldn't he see that he was helping Ludwig. It was Feliciano's fault to begin with, too stubborn to heed Gilbert's warning. Too selfish. He thought Ludwig would remember. But he just made matters worse. He was being selfish, he wanted Ludwig... He loved Ludwig and he was certain that Ludwig loved him. But it was foolish to think so. He had to keep his feelings for himself. Ludwig was too confused. He wouldn't understand. He never would. Ludwig didn't remember the time they were together when they were kids. </p><p> </p><p>And if he had to keep his distance away from him, to keep him safe, then Feliciano was alright with that. </p><p>But what he didn't mind was how Gilbert was acting. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano took a step back and glared at Gilbert. “He needs time. He needs to be alone right now. He doesn't want me to mess things up.” Feliciano admitted, balling his fists. </p><p> </p><p>It was for the best to keep some distance away from Ludwig, Feliciano repeated over and over again in his head. </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert lips curved into a mischievous smirk. “Sorry for making you upset, Feli. I know you're just protecting him in the way you know how. By acting like a coward.”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano snapped. He suddenly grabbed Gilbert's collar and snarled at him. It was infuriating how Gilbert was being. Was he provoking him intentionally? Did he really want to make things worse? Why couldn't he understand that he was doing this for Ludwig?! </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert blinked in surprise and burst into laughter. “Woah there, Feli. Are you sure you want to take me on? I don't think Lutz would want that.”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano came to his senses and realized what he was doing. He let go of Gilbert. This wasn't him. He wouldn't even dare to hurt anyone but then why did he want to? </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano bit his lip and looked away. “Mi dispiace. I think it's best if I leave now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Feli, wait.” </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert grabbed Feliciano's shoulder. But Feliciano immediately shrugged his hand off. “Buona notte, Gilbert.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you're hurting, Feliciano. I know that better than anyone. Please don't disappear out of his life. He needs you.” </p><p> </p><p>“No. No he doesn't.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling. This was awful. What he did today was just awful. He ruined everything. </p><p> </p><p>He felt tears prickling in his eyes. He hugged his pillow as he wept softly. His tears rolled down his cheeks and landed on the pillow. </p><p> </p><p>He felt such sadness. He felt he just lost Ludwig forever, that he wouldn't be able to mend what they had. But what was there to mend when it was unrepairable. He felt fear, for how the future would look like without Ludwig. And anger. So much anger that he couldn't control it. How it got it out of hand that he almost threatened Gilbert.</p><p>He was never angry at him. He was infuriated with himself. His stubbornness led him to despair. It was his fault. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well this is what happens when you listen to melancholic music while writing. You get this kind of result.<br/>Hehe, sorry.<br/>And I know that Veneziano would be more pacifist and all but come on. It'd be probably more Romano's scene but can we just imagine that even Veneziano can get angry once in a while?<br/>But speaking of Romano.... </p><p> </p><p>Here's the translation of what Feliciano said:</p><p>Buona notte - good night<br/>Mi dispiace - I'm sorry</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Reason</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*slams the fanfic onto the desk*<br/>Here you go! Chapter 6.<br/>....<br/>*faints*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Feliciano woke up to a loud voice shouting at him. He felt a tug on his blanket. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes to see who was disturbing him on Sunday. </p><p> </p><p>“-tardo. Wake up!” the intruder shouted. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano rubbed his eyes and saw… “Lovino” He whispered. </p><p> </p><p>He felt tears swelling up. He immediately got up and tackled his brother unconsciously to the ground for a hug. </p><p> </p><p>“I missed you.” Feliciano sobbed. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano was glad to see his big brother again. This the first time in days where he felt joy. </p><p> </p><p>It had been a year since he had last seen his brother, who had been busy travelling with his betrothed Antonio. </p><p> </p><p>He heard Lovino sigh and returned his hug. “I missed you too, fratellino. Now, why the hell are you crying?” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano tightened his grip. “I don't want to talk about it.” He sobbed louder. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p><strong>.</strong> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Lovino and Feliciano were in the kitchen. Feliciano sat down as Lovino was making coffee for the both of them. </p><p> </p><p>“I can't believe you did that, Feliciano.” Lovino said, looking sternly at his younger brother. “Although, I'm proud of you for standing up to that pigeon douche.” Lovino added amusingly. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano sniffed. “Mi dispiace.” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano felt heavily guilty for what he did to Gilbert. He hadn't spoken to either him or Ludwig. He was so ashamed of himself. He still couldn't shake the fact that he suddenly got violent on that evening. What was he thinking? </p><p> </p><p>“Idiota. Don't apologise to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano rubbed his eyes. “Okay.” he said softly. </p><p> </p><p>Lovino held both cups and placed them on the table. He sat down in front of his younger brother. He sipped his coffee before he started talking. “Feli. Why did you do it?”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano stared at his coffee and shrugged. “I'm just protecting him.”</p><p> </p><p>Lovino eyed his brother, raising a brow. “By staying away?” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano nodded. What was more to say? He already explained to Lovino what happened. It hurt so much but at least he told someone, it felt such a relief to do so. He felt less… Lonely. </p><p> </p><p>A week had passed since he saw Ludwig. Ludwig had been calling and messaging him nonstop. Feliciano was close from answering him once but he immediately threw his phone somewhere before he could get the chance to answer. </p><p> </p><p>Lovino clicked his tongue as he shook his head. “That potato bastard. Even back then when we were kids, I knew he'd cause you so much trouble!” Lovino admitted, holding up a spoon and waved it around. </p><p> </p><p>“Lovino.” Feliciano frowned at his brother. </p><p> </p><p>Lovino sipped coffee once more before he could respond. “What? You know deep down I'm right. That cazzo has caused you nothing but pain!” Lovino spoke as his voice got louder. </p><p> </p><p>“Lovi. Calmati. Please. Don't be mad at him. I'm at fault here too.”</p><p> </p><p>Lovino snorted. “Damn right. But you're my brother and it's practically my cursed job to protect you.” </p><p> </p><p>“But still…” Feliciano trailed off. He couldn't help but think. What was next? What was he going to do now? The future frightened him. Before he had Ludwig so everything felt fine, but now? </p><p>“Oh. Lovi, what should I do?” Feliciano cried out. </p><p> </p><p>Lovino crossed his arms and shook his head. “If I were you and I'd shout and kick him for being a dumbass. But since you're you, I'd say just go see him or whatever.” Lovino muttered the last part.</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano didn't know why but it made him giggle. Before, Lovino used to say a lot of violent things he probably would do but now that he was with Antonio, it had lessened. It was a relief. He wanted to admit that to his brother but he'd probably get all riled up and deny the possibility. </p><p> </p><p>“But that's the point, Lovi. I'm supposed to stay away, remember?” </p><p> </p><p>Lovino rubbed his temple and groaned. “How's that any good, Feliciano? You have basically known this man for almost your whole life. Are you really going to throw it away because of one bad incident? Are you serious? Come on, you know you're better than that!” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano was stunned. He didn't expect this coming from Lovino. It was astounding. If he wasn't really grateful for Antonio before, he was now. He was so proud of his big brother. </p><p> </p><p>“Wow. Fratello. I… I never thought you’d say that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me neither but…” Lovino lowered his head and spoke in hushed tones. His cheeks were starting to glow brightly red from embarrassment. “I know you're happier with him and I just want the best for you. Even if he's a dumbass.”</p><p> </p><p>Lovino was right (well not with the part that Ludwig's a dumbass). Maybe he should stop cowering and see Ludwig. It was easier said than done. He knew that this was no easy task. But he had to take a chance. A leap of faith. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano smiled brightly. “Ti amo, Lovi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Yeah. Anch'io.” </p><p> </p><p>“So… How's Antonio?” </p><p> </p><p>Lovino almost spat his drink and held a panic expression in his eyes. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ludwig stared at his phone, he wanted to call Feliciano again but he knew he wouldn't pick up. It was hopeless. </p><p> </p><p>He was sitting in the living room, while staring at his phone. </p><p>It was a quiet afternoon.</p><p>But all Ludwig could think was Feliciano. Feliciano. Feliciano. </p><p>After endless dialing, he accepted the fact that Feliciano would never pick up. He didn't know if he was ever going to hear his voice again. He didn't know if he'd ever see him again. His smile, his laughter, or his touch. Life without Feliciano was unbearable for Ludwig. Even though it had been one week, it felt like a lifetime for him. Even though they'd see each other once a week, at least they would sometimes call or message each other during weekdays. But now? Nothing but silence. </p><p>Ludwig mindlessly swiped around through his phone. Until he came across a picture of him and Feliciano. It was on the day when Ludwig got a promotion. They both looked happy at the picture. That's when Ludwig noticed something. While Feli looked at the camera with a huge smile on his face, Ludwig eyes weren't on the camera, it was on Feliciano…. Did he-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yo. Lutz. Should I order us some pizza?” Gilbert asked, practically almost shouting through the hall, causing Ludwig to break out of his train of thoughts. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mach was du willst.” He shouted back. He wasn't hungry. He had lost his appetite for a while now. In the last couple of days he barely touched his food but Gilbert always made sure that he ate something. </p><p> </p><p>Nowadays all he did was work at home, since that was what the doctor advised him to stay home and get rest, so he could heal properly. Whatever that meant.</p><p>He tried to get out of the house once, unfortunately Gilbert caught him red-handed and gave him a serious lecture about how he should listen to his doctors and how he should not misuse his recovery. </p><p>Ludwig never thought he'd ever see Gilbert act as the serious older brother. Since it was very rare for him to do so. It was terrifying. </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert muttered something but Ludwig wasn't able to hear what it was. Instead of asking his brother what he just said, he decided to turn off his phone and lie down on the couch. Maybe he should take a nap.</p><p>He took a deep breath and sighed. His mind wandered somewhere else again. </p><p> </p><p>He despised this. Why did he have to lose his memories? About his life before. About his parents. About his brother…. And especially about his precious Feliciano. </p><p> </p><p>Precious Feliciano? Ludwig felt his heart racing faster. That picture....</p><p>He had been feeling different towards Feliciano recently, before the incident that is. Every time he saw him, he looked breathtaking. Every time Feliciano talked, he'd listen carefully and he wouldn't mind if he just listened to him all day long. Every time their skin would meet, it felt electrifying. And sometimes he caught himself staring at his lips and… </p><p>Was that really…? Did he really feel this way about Feliciano? </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig chuckled bitterly, as he finally realized what Feliciano meant to him. </p><p>After all this time, Feliciano was more than a friend to him. Ludwig felt like a fool for not realizing any sooner. </p><p> </p><p>It felt like a joke. How the universe took everything wonderful away from him and gave him a lifetime of endless pain. </p><p> </p><p>He then heard the doorbell ringing, he decided to ignore it and let Gilbert answer the door, since it was just the pizza guy. </p><p> </p><p>“Wow that's fast. Glad that the delivery service has finally got the memo.”Gilbert muttered as he sprinted through the hall. </p><p> </p><p>When Gilbert opened the door, Ludwig could hear his brother laughing. </p><p> </p><p>What was so funny? Ludwig thought to himself. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>At this point, I have come to the conclusion of not knowing what I am writing anymore. Ahahahahaha (sorry).<br/>Good thing that it's almost at the end (probably) . I think 2-3 more chapters to go. So yeah. Don't get me wrong, it's just that I've been juggling on 3 fanfics as of this moment (plus procrastinating's a biatch so). After this , I'll be free to write and hopefully finish the other one. Unfortunately, my brain came up with another idea for a fanfic.<br/>I swear there are just so many ideas that I keep in my notebook but I'm always never sure which one to write first. So maybe I'm going to post another USUK fanfic in the nearby future. It's going to be dark, since it's already in the works. That's all for now!</p><p> </p><p>If you're wondering what they're saying...<br/>Here's the translation:</p><p>Fratellino - little brother<br/>Mi dispiace - I'm sorry<br/>Idiota - idiot<br/>Cazzo - prick<br/>Calmati - take it easy/calm down<br/>Ti amo - I love you<br/>Anch'io - me too (I love you too)<br/>Mach was du willst - do what you want</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Reconcile</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Phew. Alright. I guess there are three more chapters to go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So you finally changed your mind, huh?” Gilbert asked. </p><p> </p><p>“S-si. I’m sorry what happened last week.” </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig's eyes widened as he heard Feliciano’s soft voice. He couldn’t believe it.</p><p>Feliciano? What? </p><p>His heart pounded in his ears. </p><p> </p><p>He looked up from the couch to see Gilbert glancing directly at him, for a second, and back at Feliciano. </p><p>Gilbert was laughing once again and ruffled Feliciano’s hair. “Water under the bridge. Come here.” Gilbert pulled Feliciano in his arms for a crushing hug. Which caused Feliciano to squeak out of surprise. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig felt anger rising. He somehow disliked the sight of Gilbert holding Feliciano right now. Could Gilbert back off  of Feli? Wait a second… Was he jealous? </p><p> </p><p>He felt his face burning red from embarrassment and immediately ducked his head down, in case Feliciano saw him. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig then heard Feliciano’s voice wheezing slightly. “Um. Gil. Can’t breathe.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Ja. Sorry.” </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig heard light footsteps and shuffling. </p><p> </p><p>“So you’re here to see Ludwig then?” Gilbert asked. </p><p> </p><p>“S-si. I- I wanted to apologize-” </p><p> </p><p>“Komm schon, Brüderchen. Hör auf dich zu verstecken und komm raus!” Gilbert shouted. </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig cursed under his breath. Of course Gilbert would do something like that. </p><p> </p><p>He ran fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. It's not like he didn't want to see Feliciano, it was the opposite in fact. But his visit felt too sudden. Ludwig had no choice. It was now or never. </p><p> </p><p>He then stood up from the couch and immediately caught Feliciano’s eye. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p><strong>.</strong> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Feliciano stared wide-eyed at Ludwig. They immediately locked eyes. His mouth felt dry. He wasn’t sure what to do or say next. </p><p>But he heard Ludwig whispering his name. </p><p> </p><p>“Feliciano…”</p><p> </p><p>That voice. Oh that sweet, deep, mesmerising voice. Feliciano missed his voice. His reactions, his deep laugh, his bright sapphire eyes and most of all, Ludwig himself. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano opened his mouth but no sound came out. He had no clue what to say. If only he remembered what he had practiced with Lovino, who willingly helped him. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano could see how disheveled Ludwig appeared. And did he lose weight? He looked… different from the last time he saw him. This made Feliciano panic even more than he already was. </p><p> </p><p>Gilbert muttered something about going out somewhere for a while and left. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano barely caught on what Gilbert had said but he was certain that Ludwig wasn’t listening either. He seemed frozen like a statue, and that his piercing blue eyes were still on him, like he was seeing him clearly for the first time. Feliciano never saw that look on Ludwig’s face before. He wasn't sure what to make of it. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano didn’t know how long they stood there or when Ludwig was standing in front of him. Did he walk towards Ludwig unknowingly or did Ludwig…? He gulped at how tall Ludwig was. He almost forgot about that. How could he forget such a thing? </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Feliciano.” Ludwig choked out. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano blinked. What? Did Ludwig apologize to him? </p><p> </p><p>Without thinking, Feliciano placed his hand on Ludwig’s cheek. Ludwig gasped at his slight touch and leaned into it. His eyes never tore away from Feliciano's. </p><p> </p><p>“I should be the one apologizing, Ludwig.” Feliciano stroked Ludwig's cheek with his thumb as he spoke softly, “It's my fault. And I- And I-” He stuttered. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano cursed to himself. Why was this difficult all of the sudden? </p><p> </p><p>His eyes averted away from Ludwig and looked onto the ground. He shut his eyes for a moment and tried to think. Hopefully, Ludwig would understand. </p><p> </p><p>Then, Ludwig removed Feliciano's hand from his cheek and pressed his hand onto his lips. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano gasped at Ludwig's sudden action. He immediately looked up at Ludwig and blinked a few times. Ludwig looked deeply into his eyes full of… love and admiration.</p><p> </p><p>What did that mean? Did he…? Feliciano's heart was racing. </p><p> </p><p>“Lu-Ludwig?” He said breathlessly. </p><p> </p><p>“Feliciano… I- You- you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry that I ran away from you that day… I didn't know what I was thinking. It wasn't because of you.” Ludwig then held both of Feliciano's hands in his. </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano was smiling. He couldn’t believe that Ludwig was trying to apologize for something that wasn't his fault. </p><p>He chuckled slightly and shook his head. His vision became blurry, tears were starting to form. </p><p> </p><p>“Silly Ludwig. I know. You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry, I-”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano was immediately cut off by Ludwig, who leaned forward and captured Feliciano's lips with his own.</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano squeaked. He was stunned. For a second he stood there motionless, but not long after, he immediately kissed him back, leaning towards Ludwig, closing his eyes. </p><p>Ludwig's lips were soft and he tasted like coffee. Their lips moved in sync with each other. </p><p>Feliciano giggled. He was happy. His heart soared. </p><p>He dreamed of kissing Ludwig but he never thought that it would happen eventually. It felt amazing. </p><p> </p><p>Tears of joys ran down his cheeks as he was enjoying his kiss with Ludwig. </p><p>He never would have guessed that Ludwig felt the same way.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>. </strong>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>After a while, Ludwig pulled away from him. He stared at Feliciano, who gazed at him dreamily. He also noticed the tears in his eyes. </p><p>Ludwig realized what he had done. Panic rose from his chest. What was he thinking?! Maybe Feliciano didn't feel the same, maybe he got it wrong. </p><p> </p><p>“Feliciano. I-” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano placed his finger onto Ludwig's lips and smiled brightly. “Ludwig. Ti amo.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig blinked. Did he hear that correctly? Feliciano… Loved him? This brought a grin on his face. He was grinning widely, ear to ear. He felt ecstatic. </p><p>He took Feliciano's hand and intertwined it with his. </p><p> </p><p>“I-ich… Ich liebe dich, Feliciano.” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano laughed wholeheartedly. “You know, I just wanted to make things right with you. But this,” Feliciano sighed softly, “I didn't expect this.”</p><p> </p><p>Ludwig gulped. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”</p><p> </p><p>Feliciano leaned forward and pecked Ludwig's cheek, “It's wonderful, amore mio.” </p><p> </p><p>Ludwig then wrapped his arms around Feliciano. “I'm glad you're here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me too.” Feliciano said, wrapping his arms around Ludwig's waist. </p><p> </p><p>“Everything is fine between us, alright? So don't disappear like that on me ever again.” </p><p> </p><p>Feliciano buried his face onto Ludwig's chest, he shook his head. “Va bene. I promise. But you have to promise too.” Feliciano's voice cracked. </p><p> </p><p>“I promise, Feli. I'll never leave you… Feli?”</p><p> </p><p>He heard Feliciano sobbing on his chest. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aaand that's all for now. </p><p> </p><p>If you're wondering what they're saying...<br/>Here's the translation:<br/> <br/>Komm schon Brüderchen - Come in little brother<br/>Hör auf dich zu verstecken und komm raus - Stop hiding and come out<br/>Ti amo + Ich liebe dich - I love you<br/>Va bene - ok<br/>Amore mio - my love</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Return</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is practically more like 7.5 but yknow...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Feliciano and Ludwig sat down together on the couch in the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feliciano managed to slowly recover from crying. His face was red and his eyes were puffy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig was worried. He didn't know what came over Feliciano. All he could do was hold him in his arms and comfort him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feliciano?” he asked quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'm fine. It's nothing, Ludwig. You know me.” Feliciano gave a weak smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig raised his eyebrows. He didn't buy it. He knew there was something going on with Feliciano. There was something that he wasn't telling him. It probably had to do with that box and that dream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He squeezed Feliciano's hand. “Bitte. Feli. Talk to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliciano violently shook his head. “No!” His voice roared. “It might be too much for you, Ludwig. I don't want that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig frowned. He understood Feliciano's worries but he had to lift that burden from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please... Look. At least we're in my house, so I'm safe. And I want to know what's bothering you, Feli. Does it have to do with that box?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliciano's eyes lit up. He nodded slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Si. It is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There's more to it, isn't there?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ludwig-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ Feli. Please. Just tell me. I won't drop it unless you tell me what's bothering you. I'm worried about you as well.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliciano tilted his head slightly, he was in deep thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then clicked his tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Va bene. I'll tell you. But.. this is about the past.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The past? Ludwig was very eager to know more about the past for the last couple of days. Especially about their shared past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It's okay Feliciano. I can handle it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'm going to start from the beginning, if that is okay with you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ludwig nodded. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah. It's a short chapter but I'll make it up for the next one. Which will be a trip to GerIta's past... *cue doctor who theme*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Response</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Honestly, I really thought that Chapter nine would be the last chapter. But it's not. I think there's one or two more to go! Hopefully. And as for the flashbacks, I'll just continue them in a different fanfic that I'm also currently writing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Feliciano finished telling him the whole story. Ludwig sat there, astounded. <br/>He didn't know how much time had passed. But that didn’t matter to him. What did matter was Feliciano. All he could think was how much pain Feliciano had carried with him all this time. And to think he had to keep it a secret, made Ludwig guilty. He still couldn’t fathom why Feliciano stayed with him over the years. When Feliciano could’ve just moved on and be with someone who was less complicated than him.</p><p>“Even though you couldn’t remember me or anything from your past, I still wanted to be with you, by your side. It didn’t matter that you know me but I knew and I know that in your heart, you have always known me, Lu.” Feliciano paused for a moment to catch his breath, as if he was suddenly out of air, and sighed. “ And that I have been hopelessly in love with you since we were kids.” He confessed breathlessly with a loving smile on his face.</p><p>Ludwig gazed at Feliciano. He didn’t have the words to say. Feliciano somehow managed to read his mind. He didn’t know how to respond to such a confession as Feliciano’s. Instead, he reached out to Feliciano and pulled him in for an embrace. </p><p>Feliciano wrapped his arms around Ludwig and placed his head on his shoulder, sighing heavily. “Ti amo, Ludwig. Ti amo tanto.” </p><p>Ludwig pulled back and stared deeply into Feliciano’s caramel eyes. He held Feliciano’s chin up and slowly leaned in. </p><p>“Ich liebe dich auch, Feliciano.” He whispered.</p><p>He captured Feliciano’s lips. Their second kiss was amazing as the first one, tender and sweet. But the kiss grew more intimate than the first.</p><p>Before they could move on any further, they suddenly heard someone whistling in the background. Ludwig froze and slowly pulled away from Feliciano. He turned around to see his brother, smirking, and Roderich, who gave Gilbert a disapproving look. They were both standing at the door, holding brown paper bags that Ludwig assumed to be groceries.</p><p>He mentally cursed for the bad timing his brother and Roderich had given him.</p><p>Gilbert chuckled, “Oh, don’t stop on our behalf.” He turned to Roderich, nudging him, “Siehst du, Schatz. I was right.” </p><p>Roderich shook his head and scoffed. “Gott, bist du ein Idiot.” He then faced Ludwig and Feliciano, “Sorry for disturbing you two. We were going to sneak in quietly, until SOMEONE decided not to.” </p><p>Gilbert scratched the back of his head and chuckled once more, “Yeah, sorry you two.” He then clicked his tongue and smirked mischievously, ““Well in your defense, you were both busy with something else.” He commented as he wiggled his brows.</p><p>Before Ludwig opened his mouth to say something to his brother, Roderich kicked his shin. </p><p>“Ow! The hell man?!” Gilbert glared at Roderich, who shrugged.</p><p>Ludwig shouldn’t find this amusing but he did, he was silently grateful for Roderich. He seriously couldn’t understand how the refined Roderich could be with a troublemaker like his brother. But that was nothing to be worried about.</p><p>Roderich ignored Gilbert’s blabbering  and grabbed his arm, leading him away from the living room. “We’ll be in the kitchen.” </p><p>“Va bene! Grazie, Ricky!” Feliciano shouted. </p><p>When Gilbert and Roderich went to the kitchen, Ludwig felt Feliciano holding his hand.<br/>Ludwig blinked and faced him, flashing a small smile.</p><p>Feliciano smiled back, “Ludwig, I’m very happy right now.”</p><p>Ludwig cupped Feliciano’s cheek, “Me too, Feli.” </p><p>He leaned into Feliciano when he suddenly heard a loud bang in the kitchen. </p><p>“You know what, we should probably head to my room.” Ludwig suggested.</p><p>Feliciano blinked a couple of times and giggled, “Wow, Ludwig. I don’t think we’re ready for that yet.”</p><p>Ludwig furrowed his brows and tried to understand Feliciano’s words. What did he mean by-</p><p>His eyes widened. </p><p>“No. That- that was not what I meant by that!” He stuttered, trying to explain the misunderstanding.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think that's all for now. The next chapter would probably in some time whenever. Unfortunately, I'm losing my focus and motivation nowadays. So it might be a slow update.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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